so for this year's lenten season i did some evaluating of what needed improvement in my life. since time seems to be of the essence for me, i decided to do something that would help me be wise with the hours i've been given- i'm tired of saying "i didn't have time." it's typically not true, i just didn't make time (*with the exception of stuff that needs to be done during regular business hours, like calling hospitals and insurance companies. i literally did not have time to call them).
so, i thought to myself, "what takes up time that really isn't productive or recreative?" that's how i came up with facebook as my lenten sacrifice. it eats up time but really does nothing for me.
i can't believe how hard it's actually been! a few people have written on my wall or sent me messages- i hate that i can't get to it. but even more, i come home at the end of the the day and i want to see what everyone else has done, said or posted. what's going on in so-and-so's life? who is xyz dating? oh, STATUS change????
it's emotional pornography. i'm escaping my world and my bad day for the hopes that life is better inside the Book. i watch as others' lives unfold right before me so that i don't have to deal with what's happening in my life- or, at least, i use it to make myself feel better, saying, "at least i don't ________."
i'd have to say, lent is making me not only face the time i have with questions of "how can i use it now that i have it?" but as well, "well, michele, who are you? what do you feel?"
lent is so good, in a just-ran-a-really-hard-run-but-it-kinda-hurts kind of way.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
who touched me?
the woman has been sick for years, she thinks, "just touch his robe, then i can be healed". Jesus is among lots and lots of people and he knows when she touches him.
this is not just a story of how jesus is very sensitive. actually, i think it's more about the woman. Jesus says, "your faith has healed you."
here's what i think. i think jesus knows the difference between touch. he knows the difference between someone getting close to him because they recognize that he has the power to change their life, and someone who's getting close to him to watch the show. he can tell when someone touches him as if their life depends upon it. it's not an accidental bump or stepping oh his sandal because you're walking too close.
to use an rti phrase, jesus knows when you're "reaching out" and making the effort instead of haphazardly bumping into him.
"ask seek knock".
"reach out to me and you will find healing because of your faith."
this is not just a story of how jesus is very sensitive. actually, i think it's more about the woman. Jesus says, "your faith has healed you."
here's what i think. i think jesus knows the difference between touch. he knows the difference between someone getting close to him because they recognize that he has the power to change their life, and someone who's getting close to him to watch the show. he can tell when someone touches him as if their life depends upon it. it's not an accidental bump or stepping oh his sandal because you're walking too close.
to use an rti phrase, jesus knows when you're "reaching out" and making the effort instead of haphazardly bumping into him.
"ask seek knock".
"reach out to me and you will find healing because of your faith."
Thursday, February 7, 2008
i love good friends
i love when you have friends that just know that when you say "can we talk" that really means "i need to talk to you right now, i really don't want to cry all by myself and i need to feel validated please please please pay attention to me."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me, "it's not the feelings that you have that are wrong- it's what you do with those feelings."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me that i don't have to try. and she really means it.
for the record, i also love friends that will come to book club when it's evident that no one read the book and the ones who did (partially) will testify that it's really not that good, but they make the trip anyway because it's a good time and you made a lot of food.
i love friends that will give me her clothes to wear for an entire weekend because my husband forgot to bring the bags i packed.
i love good friends. i need good friends. not just because it makes life better, but i really think i'd go crazy without them. and because i'd have to go to a redwings game without any pants.
i love that i have a friend that can tell me, "it's not the feelings that you have that are wrong- it's what you do with those feelings."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me that i don't have to try. and she really means it.
for the record, i also love friends that will come to book club when it's evident that no one read the book and the ones who did (partially) will testify that it's really not that good, but they make the trip anyway because it's a good time and you made a lot of food.
i love friends that will give me her clothes to wear for an entire weekend because my husband forgot to bring the bags i packed.
i love good friends. i need good friends. not just because it makes life better, but i really think i'd go crazy without them. and because i'd have to go to a redwings game without any pants.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
the key to a good movie
i went this evening to watch 27 dresses as a compensation of sorts for sitting through the superbowl. for a quick review, the movie is 200% stereotypical chick flick (can you say how to loose a guy in 10 days?), but i enjoyed.
donald miller gave a sermon at mars hill once on the use of story. listen to it. then you'll know that i'm going to steal some of his concepts and make them my own.
the key to a good story is that you identify with the character. thus, the correlation to me not really connecting to Rocky. but romantic comedies, though completely fake (if you notice they never have a boring day at work and always have time for elaborate breakfasts and late night "drinks" with friends), still have their charm in that they take a small spark of something you feel on the inside and they "fan the flame" if you will.
which, for a movie about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" is very interesting to me. 3 of the 4 gals i was sitting with were married. yet we were all somehow emotionally tied to this movie. which goes to show, in Rob Bell's words, "this is always about that." (read SexGod for more).
so, back to characters and movies. i have this crazy feeling that every girl in the theater was envisioning themselves as the main character, Jane. no one in there really saw Tess, the beautiful, spoiled little sister who took the guy from Jane without knowing it, and thought "hey, that is so me!"
it's amazing the emotion a chick flick can evoke. it's like the movie takes that which you feel deepest (be it loneliness, anger, feeling overlooked and under appreciated... just to name a few that this particular movie centered in on), and highlights it. the movie takes it and becomes your voice because everyone in the theater knows that it's not right.
the problem is, as much as i felt jane's pain, as much as we all feel like her, we're not her. there are pieces of us that ring true, and that's why we feel that way. but there are pieces of each of the characters that are alive in us. i am also the loud-mouthed bff who says things she shouldn't. and i'm the demanding sister who doesn't think about other people's feelings before she rips up an heirloom wedding dress.
i love movies because i can identify with the hero. i hate movies because i see the vileness of the villan in me. i love movies because when the heroine's wrongs are righted, i feel justice. i hate movies because i must come to grips with the fact that i'm part of the problem in someone else's wrongs.
donald miller gave a sermon at mars hill once on the use of story. listen to it. then you'll know that i'm going to steal some of his concepts and make them my own.
the key to a good story is that you identify with the character. thus, the correlation to me not really connecting to Rocky. but romantic comedies, though completely fake (if you notice they never have a boring day at work and always have time for elaborate breakfasts and late night "drinks" with friends), still have their charm in that they take a small spark of something you feel on the inside and they "fan the flame" if you will.
which, for a movie about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" is very interesting to me. 3 of the 4 gals i was sitting with were married. yet we were all somehow emotionally tied to this movie. which goes to show, in Rob Bell's words, "this is always about that." (read SexGod for more).
so, back to characters and movies. i have this crazy feeling that every girl in the theater was envisioning themselves as the main character, Jane. no one in there really saw Tess, the beautiful, spoiled little sister who took the guy from Jane without knowing it, and thought "hey, that is so me!"
it's amazing the emotion a chick flick can evoke. it's like the movie takes that which you feel deepest (be it loneliness, anger, feeling overlooked and under appreciated... just to name a few that this particular movie centered in on), and highlights it. the movie takes it and becomes your voice because everyone in the theater knows that it's not right.
the problem is, as much as i felt jane's pain, as much as we all feel like her, we're not her. there are pieces of us that ring true, and that's why we feel that way. but there are pieces of each of the characters that are alive in us. i am also the loud-mouthed bff who says things she shouldn't. and i'm the demanding sister who doesn't think about other people's feelings before she rips up an heirloom wedding dress.
i love movies because i can identify with the hero. i hate movies because i see the vileness of the villan in me. i love movies because when the heroine's wrongs are righted, i feel justice. i hate movies because i must come to grips with the fact that i'm part of the problem in someone else's wrongs.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
timing is everything?
"Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, but oddly, when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed on where he was for 2 more days. After the 2 days, he said to his disciples, "Let's go back to Judea." (John 11:5-7, The Message)
I was stuck on this story in the not-so-distant past and I think I might go somewhere with it in the near future. This morning I was pondering the timing of it all. Mary and Martha send word to Jesus that Lazarus is not doing so hot. Now, we know that previously Mary was at the feet of Jesus (the story introduces her this way), so we have an idea that maybe M&M aren't requesting that Jesus come sit shiva with them like good friends do. It wasn't a "get in your final goodbye" or "I need you here with me in this hard time" request. I don't think so. I think it was a "please, please Jesus come and save him or he's going to die." I'm going on a hunch that Mary and Martha were 2 ladies that "got it" that Jesus was the Messiah and did have the power to restore Lazarus back to health, so they asked him to do it.
Jesus hears the message and waits for 2 days before deciding to go back to Judea. On the third day (*ahem, note timing), he says, "welp, there's 12 hours of good travel time. Let's go."
There's a brief sidebar conversation by the disciples, and if left to their devices they never would've went to Judea at all- but that's a later conversation.
So they get to Bethany and they find that Lazarus is dead. Not just a "ooohhh, you just missed him." He's 4 days dead. In nowadays time, the funeral is over (in Jewish time, they've still got 3 days left).
So let's add this up... 4 days dead. Day 4 was the "12 hours of daylight" travel time. Day 2 and 3 was when Jesus was apparently sitting around and proving a point. Day 1- well, that's when Jesus got the message. And if you account for the 12 hours for the messenger to get to wherever Jesus was (which is a bit of a mystery at this point), we find that by the time Jesus learns of Lazarus' sickness, he was actually already dead.
So, this is my question to you: Why did Mary and Martha wait until Lazzie was on his deathbed before they called in Jesus? Why not when he was coughing and sputtering? Why is it that at the first sign of needing Jesus we think that we "shouldn't bother him" but when it gets to life and death all of a sudden we're sending urgent messages and yelling at him when he shows up 4 days too late?
I'm not putting the blame on M&M for Lazarus' death- Jesus said outright that it would be an occasion for all to believe. But I think we can look at M&M's actions and learn a little something about ourselves. But what kind of faith-test do we put ourselves, and Jesus, in when we wait until the moment of desperation to seek after Him? Why do we only want him at the very end, when it really, really counts?
Now, I know there's a place for desperation- I've been to that point when you need to realize that there's no other rock to which you can cling. But I wonder how the story would be different if Mary and Martha had asked Jesus to stop by a few weeks earlier because Lazzie had a hacking cough he just couldn't lick. Mary and Martha wouldn't have been frustrated with Jesus showing up a bit late. He would've had perfect timing, then.
But then again, there would be no miracle- a "turnaround sign for many of the Jews" (11:45).
I was stuck on this story in the not-so-distant past and I think I might go somewhere with it in the near future. This morning I was pondering the timing of it all. Mary and Martha send word to Jesus that Lazarus is not doing so hot. Now, we know that previously Mary was at the feet of Jesus (the story introduces her this way), so we have an idea that maybe M&M aren't requesting that Jesus come sit shiva with them like good friends do. It wasn't a "get in your final goodbye" or "I need you here with me in this hard time" request. I don't think so. I think it was a "please, please Jesus come and save him or he's going to die." I'm going on a hunch that Mary and Martha were 2 ladies that "got it" that Jesus was the Messiah and did have the power to restore Lazarus back to health, so they asked him to do it.
Jesus hears the message and waits for 2 days before deciding to go back to Judea. On the third day (*ahem, note timing), he says, "welp, there's 12 hours of good travel time. Let's go."
There's a brief sidebar conversation by the disciples, and if left to their devices they never would've went to Judea at all- but that's a later conversation.
So they get to Bethany and they find that Lazarus is dead. Not just a "ooohhh, you just missed him." He's 4 days dead. In nowadays time, the funeral is over (in Jewish time, they've still got 3 days left).
So let's add this up... 4 days dead. Day 4 was the "12 hours of daylight" travel time. Day 2 and 3 was when Jesus was apparently sitting around and proving a point. Day 1- well, that's when Jesus got the message. And if you account for the 12 hours for the messenger to get to wherever Jesus was (which is a bit of a mystery at this point), we find that by the time Jesus learns of Lazarus' sickness, he was actually already dead.
So, this is my question to you: Why did Mary and Martha wait until Lazzie was on his deathbed before they called in Jesus? Why not when he was coughing and sputtering? Why is it that at the first sign of needing Jesus we think that we "shouldn't bother him" but when it gets to life and death all of a sudden we're sending urgent messages and yelling at him when he shows up 4 days too late?
I'm not putting the blame on M&M for Lazarus' death- Jesus said outright that it would be an occasion for all to believe. But I think we can look at M&M's actions and learn a little something about ourselves. But what kind of faith-test do we put ourselves, and Jesus, in when we wait until the moment of desperation to seek after Him? Why do we only want him at the very end, when it really, really counts?
Now, I know there's a place for desperation- I've been to that point when you need to realize that there's no other rock to which you can cling. But I wonder how the story would be different if Mary and Martha had asked Jesus to stop by a few weeks earlier because Lazzie had a hacking cough he just couldn't lick. Mary and Martha wouldn't have been frustrated with Jesus showing up a bit late. He would've had perfect timing, then.
But then again, there would be no miracle- a "turnaround sign for many of the Jews" (11:45).
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
better think of something good...
I had my first "adult education" bible study class tonight. I wasn't really sure what to expect, so I put a few ideas together. as usual, God shows that his plans are beyond our understanding, so it'll be a good adventure over the next few weeks. the Bible is always a good adventure. but this is not the point of the blog... the point came when one woman (the coordinator of it all) said she had read up on my blog and enjoyed a post. i thought, "what blog... oh, yeah.... I haven't touched that for a while!" so, now that people are checking, i have to come up with something brilliant. ah, pressure.
but no, actually this has been burning lately and i haven't felt propelled to post because i thought it would just ring empty into cyber space. now i shall give it some air time.
We were at bible study last week (my usual ladies, not the special class) and Wendy brought up Jesus' difficult teaching on the rich and heaven. She said, "how do we teach that rich people, straight up, won't get into heaven?"
it is then, by the grace of God, that a realization came (and i know it was from God because I had never thought it before, nor understood it until it came out)... it's not about who does or does not get into heaven. it's about who will let the Kingdom of Heaven rule in their hearts. the rich are so filled up on their concerns about the riches of the world and whatnot that there's no room for God to do their thing.
think about it... the beatitudes are all about the lacking- being poor, grief, giving up control and power. it's when you have to let go of things or people that you can finally open your arms to what God has for you.
it made me really reflect- what fills my heart? what's taking up space that God can't get in? Oswald said this morning (can you tell what i'm reading again?) that it's easy to find God in the hard times- it's when things are easy that it's tough. when life is good you have something to cling to. when life is hard you learn the difference between a rock and a sandy beach- some things are sturdy and some drift with a whim.
this thought is not as nearly put-together as i'd like it to be. but maybe it'll come together after some further ponderings. until then, i'm going to go to sleep :)
but no, actually this has been burning lately and i haven't felt propelled to post because i thought it would just ring empty into cyber space. now i shall give it some air time.
We were at bible study last week (my usual ladies, not the special class) and Wendy brought up Jesus' difficult teaching on the rich and heaven. She said, "how do we teach that rich people, straight up, won't get into heaven?"
it is then, by the grace of God, that a realization came (and i know it was from God because I had never thought it before, nor understood it until it came out)... it's not about who does or does not get into heaven. it's about who will let the Kingdom of Heaven rule in their hearts. the rich are so filled up on their concerns about the riches of the world and whatnot that there's no room for God to do their thing.
think about it... the beatitudes are all about the lacking- being poor, grief, giving up control and power. it's when you have to let go of things or people that you can finally open your arms to what God has for you.
it made me really reflect- what fills my heart? what's taking up space that God can't get in? Oswald said this morning (can you tell what i'm reading again?) that it's easy to find God in the hard times- it's when things are easy that it's tough. when life is good you have something to cling to. when life is hard you learn the difference between a rock and a sandy beach- some things are sturdy and some drift with a whim.
this thought is not as nearly put-together as i'd like it to be. but maybe it'll come together after some further ponderings. until then, i'm going to go to sleep :)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
thankshaving?
I was up in the middle of the night, i'm pretty sure because God wanted to tell me something about this year's thanksgiving. I was reflecting on thanksgiving and why this year it seems so much more real to me. this year i decided to celebrate thanksgiving instead of thankshaving. normally this holiday is one where we can list the several things that we're grateful for. but mostly that's just a list of how we're better off than the next guy.
i'm hoping my holiday has changed from that.
it only takes God giving you something, and then taking it away before you were ready to give it up, to realize that's not just about gratefulness. it's about realizing where it came from. God is the giver of all "good and perfect gifts." he can "give and take away."
When you begin to see with these eyes, you see everything in your life as a gift. God gives- and not only that, but you have to realize that it was His before it was yours and it will be His again someday. in essence, everything we have is just out on loan. the person lying beside you in bed at night, the children that keep you awake, the next breath you take- its all on loan. God can ask for it back, but He gave it to us to love and enjoy for His glory while we have it.
when we see things as "mine" or "ours", like it's a right we have, it's not really thankfulness, it's just making a list of stuff. but when we see what God has given- that it's a gift, not a right, not something deserved- then we can be truly thankful.
this all seemed a lot more clearer at 4AM.
i'm hoping my holiday has changed from that.
it only takes God giving you something, and then taking it away before you were ready to give it up, to realize that's not just about gratefulness. it's about realizing where it came from. God is the giver of all "good and perfect gifts." he can "give and take away."
When you begin to see with these eyes, you see everything in your life as a gift. God gives- and not only that, but you have to realize that it was His before it was yours and it will be His again someday. in essence, everything we have is just out on loan. the person lying beside you in bed at night, the children that keep you awake, the next breath you take- its all on loan. God can ask for it back, but He gave it to us to love and enjoy for His glory while we have it.
when we see things as "mine" or "ours", like it's a right we have, it's not really thankfulness, it's just making a list of stuff. but when we see what God has given- that it's a gift, not a right, not something deserved- then we can be truly thankful.
this all seemed a lot more clearer at 4AM.
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