open season. today was the first run of spring. it's march, spring must surely be coming- the snow was even starting to melt. it was a good day for a run.
I must say, however, it was a very different run than what i'm used to. it's been nearly 5 months of running indoors on a treadmill. in many ways this run was easier- i run faster on a treadmill, for longer, so i was barely tired when i got home (good news for the may 3rd quatro miler). on the other hand, it was much harder. some of it was dodging the not-melted patches of snice (snowy-ice mix, you know). some of it was not thinking about how cold my toesies were from not being able to dodge the last huge 3 mile puddle. some of it was worrying about how much mud roxanne would bring home with her. and last but not least was avoiding the spray from the semis going too fast down sandusky ave (i felt very "Forrest Gump" as i wiped my brow).
but the better runs are always outdoors. the challenge for me today was getting me out the door. i really wouldn't've (it's officially a word!) if Kristy hadn't called me and told me i had to.
So as i ran, i was thinking- as is my custom- mostly about some of the reading i've been doing. today's was a huge hunk of Joseph's life. i've been stuck in jacob's life, but finally yesterday emerged into Joseph and his technicolor dreamcoat. specifically how his brothers sold him to egypt but God watched over him and all but handed over the entire kingdom of egypt to joseph. this is because joseph was a dream-reader and new a famine was coming, so he saved grain during the years of plenty (probably a whole other post, btw).
so my first question was, "why did God give the message to the egyptians, rather than the israelites?" yes, i know, it has something to do with Joseph and "God's plan"- but that's the easy way out. throughout the rest of the story, God always gives the isrealites the inside scoop of what's coming, but this time he told Pharoah. and Joseph became all but an egyptian- complete with egyptian wives.
From this question emerges my sympathy for jacob. he spent most of his live wondering around, working off 2 wives (one of which he didn't even want) and trying to get back home to Cannon to live in the promised land of his father. he finally gets there. life is good (except for the heartache of loosing joseph, of course). he's ready to die a semi-happy man.
but God brings upon a famine and joseph gets the whole family to move to Goshen (which is also a township in ohio). WHY??? WHY DOES JACOB HAVE TO GO? why does God do this?
he was living in cannon, the land of his fathers, the land which GOD HIMSELF promised him he would possess. it's been good to him up to this point- great livestock, lots of money- when they move to goshen, they are rich. they're just grainless.
but then i think about jacob. he's ready to die a semi-happy man. he did a few notable things, one being that he turned his life around from the liar he started out to be, but probably doesn't live up to the standard of grandpa abraham.
so this is my pondering: was cannon too comfortable? i haven't gotten to this part yet (recently), but i think we'll see a little bit of that after the exodus- the land flowing with milk and honey becomes a little to cushy and the people of God forget where they've come from.
i wonder if that's the case here with jacob. life was a little too good.
it's like spending too many months on a treadmill. the run outside will do you good. it works a few different muscles (specifically when you get to those hills!). it makes you consider other elements.
obviously, this could have great personal implications. but my life hasn't been "cozy" lately, so i'll take it a different direction. how's life been for the Church? are we experiencing Cannon? i don't really think we can honestly say we've endured much persecution (when you put it on a scale with underground house churches in asia). i wonder if maybe we're living in comfy land, running on a treadmill with no wind or puddles to think about, but all the time we should be getting ready for a tougher run outside.
or better yet, let me take it this route: what about america, land of the free, home of the brave. aren't we mostly a land flowing with milk and honey? what might that mean? (yeah, that was only partially a question).
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
it's not as easy as it sounds
so for this year's lenten season i did some evaluating of what needed improvement in my life. since time seems to be of the essence for me, i decided to do something that would help me be wise with the hours i've been given- i'm tired of saying "i didn't have time." it's typically not true, i just didn't make time (*with the exception of stuff that needs to be done during regular business hours, like calling hospitals and insurance companies. i literally did not have time to call them).
so, i thought to myself, "what takes up time that really isn't productive or recreative?" that's how i came up with facebook as my lenten sacrifice. it eats up time but really does nothing for me.
i can't believe how hard it's actually been! a few people have written on my wall or sent me messages- i hate that i can't get to it. but even more, i come home at the end of the the day and i want to see what everyone else has done, said or posted. what's going on in so-and-so's life? who is xyz dating? oh, STATUS change????
it's emotional pornography. i'm escaping my world and my bad day for the hopes that life is better inside the Book. i watch as others' lives unfold right before me so that i don't have to deal with what's happening in my life- or, at least, i use it to make myself feel better, saying, "at least i don't ________."
i'd have to say, lent is making me not only face the time i have with questions of "how can i use it now that i have it?" but as well, "well, michele, who are you? what do you feel?"
lent is so good, in a just-ran-a-really-hard-run-but-it-kinda-hurts kind of way.
so, i thought to myself, "what takes up time that really isn't productive or recreative?" that's how i came up with facebook as my lenten sacrifice. it eats up time but really does nothing for me.
i can't believe how hard it's actually been! a few people have written on my wall or sent me messages- i hate that i can't get to it. but even more, i come home at the end of the the day and i want to see what everyone else has done, said or posted. what's going on in so-and-so's life? who is xyz dating? oh, STATUS change????
it's emotional pornography. i'm escaping my world and my bad day for the hopes that life is better inside the Book. i watch as others' lives unfold right before me so that i don't have to deal with what's happening in my life- or, at least, i use it to make myself feel better, saying, "at least i don't ________."
i'd have to say, lent is making me not only face the time i have with questions of "how can i use it now that i have it?" but as well, "well, michele, who are you? what do you feel?"
lent is so good, in a just-ran-a-really-hard-run-but-it-kinda-hurts kind of way.
Monday, February 11, 2008
who touched me?
the woman has been sick for years, she thinks, "just touch his robe, then i can be healed". Jesus is among lots and lots of people and he knows when she touches him.
this is not just a story of how jesus is very sensitive. actually, i think it's more about the woman. Jesus says, "your faith has healed you."
here's what i think. i think jesus knows the difference between touch. he knows the difference between someone getting close to him because they recognize that he has the power to change their life, and someone who's getting close to him to watch the show. he can tell when someone touches him as if their life depends upon it. it's not an accidental bump or stepping oh his sandal because you're walking too close.
to use an rti phrase, jesus knows when you're "reaching out" and making the effort instead of haphazardly bumping into him.
"ask seek knock".
"reach out to me and you will find healing because of your faith."
this is not just a story of how jesus is very sensitive. actually, i think it's more about the woman. Jesus says, "your faith has healed you."
here's what i think. i think jesus knows the difference between touch. he knows the difference between someone getting close to him because they recognize that he has the power to change their life, and someone who's getting close to him to watch the show. he can tell when someone touches him as if their life depends upon it. it's not an accidental bump or stepping oh his sandal because you're walking too close.
to use an rti phrase, jesus knows when you're "reaching out" and making the effort instead of haphazardly bumping into him.
"ask seek knock".
"reach out to me and you will find healing because of your faith."
Thursday, February 7, 2008
i love good friends
i love when you have friends that just know that when you say "can we talk" that really means "i need to talk to you right now, i really don't want to cry all by myself and i need to feel validated please please please pay attention to me."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me, "it's not the feelings that you have that are wrong- it's what you do with those feelings."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me that i don't have to try. and she really means it.
for the record, i also love friends that will come to book club when it's evident that no one read the book and the ones who did (partially) will testify that it's really not that good, but they make the trip anyway because it's a good time and you made a lot of food.
i love friends that will give me her clothes to wear for an entire weekend because my husband forgot to bring the bags i packed.
i love good friends. i need good friends. not just because it makes life better, but i really think i'd go crazy without them. and because i'd have to go to a redwings game without any pants.
i love that i have a friend that can tell me, "it's not the feelings that you have that are wrong- it's what you do with those feelings."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me that i don't have to try. and she really means it.
for the record, i also love friends that will come to book club when it's evident that no one read the book and the ones who did (partially) will testify that it's really not that good, but they make the trip anyway because it's a good time and you made a lot of food.
i love friends that will give me her clothes to wear for an entire weekend because my husband forgot to bring the bags i packed.
i love good friends. i need good friends. not just because it makes life better, but i really think i'd go crazy without them. and because i'd have to go to a redwings game without any pants.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
the key to a good movie
i went this evening to watch 27 dresses as a compensation of sorts for sitting through the superbowl. for a quick review, the movie is 200% stereotypical chick flick (can you say how to loose a guy in 10 days?), but i enjoyed.
donald miller gave a sermon at mars hill once on the use of story. listen to it. then you'll know that i'm going to steal some of his concepts and make them my own.
the key to a good story is that you identify with the character. thus, the correlation to me not really connecting to Rocky. but romantic comedies, though completely fake (if you notice they never have a boring day at work and always have time for elaborate breakfasts and late night "drinks" with friends), still have their charm in that they take a small spark of something you feel on the inside and they "fan the flame" if you will.
which, for a movie about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" is very interesting to me. 3 of the 4 gals i was sitting with were married. yet we were all somehow emotionally tied to this movie. which goes to show, in Rob Bell's words, "this is always about that." (read SexGod for more).
so, back to characters and movies. i have this crazy feeling that every girl in the theater was envisioning themselves as the main character, Jane. no one in there really saw Tess, the beautiful, spoiled little sister who took the guy from Jane without knowing it, and thought "hey, that is so me!"
it's amazing the emotion a chick flick can evoke. it's like the movie takes that which you feel deepest (be it loneliness, anger, feeling overlooked and under appreciated... just to name a few that this particular movie centered in on), and highlights it. the movie takes it and becomes your voice because everyone in the theater knows that it's not right.
the problem is, as much as i felt jane's pain, as much as we all feel like her, we're not her. there are pieces of us that ring true, and that's why we feel that way. but there are pieces of each of the characters that are alive in us. i am also the loud-mouthed bff who says things she shouldn't. and i'm the demanding sister who doesn't think about other people's feelings before she rips up an heirloom wedding dress.
i love movies because i can identify with the hero. i hate movies because i see the vileness of the villan in me. i love movies because when the heroine's wrongs are righted, i feel justice. i hate movies because i must come to grips with the fact that i'm part of the problem in someone else's wrongs.
donald miller gave a sermon at mars hill once on the use of story. listen to it. then you'll know that i'm going to steal some of his concepts and make them my own.
the key to a good story is that you identify with the character. thus, the correlation to me not really connecting to Rocky. but romantic comedies, though completely fake (if you notice they never have a boring day at work and always have time for elaborate breakfasts and late night "drinks" with friends), still have their charm in that they take a small spark of something you feel on the inside and they "fan the flame" if you will.
which, for a movie about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" is very interesting to me. 3 of the 4 gals i was sitting with were married. yet we were all somehow emotionally tied to this movie. which goes to show, in Rob Bell's words, "this is always about that." (read SexGod for more).
so, back to characters and movies. i have this crazy feeling that every girl in the theater was envisioning themselves as the main character, Jane. no one in there really saw Tess, the beautiful, spoiled little sister who took the guy from Jane without knowing it, and thought "hey, that is so me!"
it's amazing the emotion a chick flick can evoke. it's like the movie takes that which you feel deepest (be it loneliness, anger, feeling overlooked and under appreciated... just to name a few that this particular movie centered in on), and highlights it. the movie takes it and becomes your voice because everyone in the theater knows that it's not right.
the problem is, as much as i felt jane's pain, as much as we all feel like her, we're not her. there are pieces of us that ring true, and that's why we feel that way. but there are pieces of each of the characters that are alive in us. i am also the loud-mouthed bff who says things she shouldn't. and i'm the demanding sister who doesn't think about other people's feelings before she rips up an heirloom wedding dress.
i love movies because i can identify with the hero. i hate movies because i see the vileness of the villan in me. i love movies because when the heroine's wrongs are righted, i feel justice. i hate movies because i must come to grips with the fact that i'm part of the problem in someone else's wrongs.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
timing is everything?
"Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, but oddly, when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed on where he was for 2 more days. After the 2 days, he said to his disciples, "Let's go back to Judea." (John 11:5-7, The Message)
I was stuck on this story in the not-so-distant past and I think I might go somewhere with it in the near future. This morning I was pondering the timing of it all. Mary and Martha send word to Jesus that Lazarus is not doing so hot. Now, we know that previously Mary was at the feet of Jesus (the story introduces her this way), so we have an idea that maybe M&M aren't requesting that Jesus come sit shiva with them like good friends do. It wasn't a "get in your final goodbye" or "I need you here with me in this hard time" request. I don't think so. I think it was a "please, please Jesus come and save him or he's going to die." I'm going on a hunch that Mary and Martha were 2 ladies that "got it" that Jesus was the Messiah and did have the power to restore Lazarus back to health, so they asked him to do it.
Jesus hears the message and waits for 2 days before deciding to go back to Judea. On the third day (*ahem, note timing), he says, "welp, there's 12 hours of good travel time. Let's go."
There's a brief sidebar conversation by the disciples, and if left to their devices they never would've went to Judea at all- but that's a later conversation.
So they get to Bethany and they find that Lazarus is dead. Not just a "ooohhh, you just missed him." He's 4 days dead. In nowadays time, the funeral is over (in Jewish time, they've still got 3 days left).
So let's add this up... 4 days dead. Day 4 was the "12 hours of daylight" travel time. Day 2 and 3 was when Jesus was apparently sitting around and proving a point. Day 1- well, that's when Jesus got the message. And if you account for the 12 hours for the messenger to get to wherever Jesus was (which is a bit of a mystery at this point), we find that by the time Jesus learns of Lazarus' sickness, he was actually already dead.
So, this is my question to you: Why did Mary and Martha wait until Lazzie was on his deathbed before they called in Jesus? Why not when he was coughing and sputtering? Why is it that at the first sign of needing Jesus we think that we "shouldn't bother him" but when it gets to life and death all of a sudden we're sending urgent messages and yelling at him when he shows up 4 days too late?
I'm not putting the blame on M&M for Lazarus' death- Jesus said outright that it would be an occasion for all to believe. But I think we can look at M&M's actions and learn a little something about ourselves. But what kind of faith-test do we put ourselves, and Jesus, in when we wait until the moment of desperation to seek after Him? Why do we only want him at the very end, when it really, really counts?
Now, I know there's a place for desperation- I've been to that point when you need to realize that there's no other rock to which you can cling. But I wonder how the story would be different if Mary and Martha had asked Jesus to stop by a few weeks earlier because Lazzie had a hacking cough he just couldn't lick. Mary and Martha wouldn't have been frustrated with Jesus showing up a bit late. He would've had perfect timing, then.
But then again, there would be no miracle- a "turnaround sign for many of the Jews" (11:45).
I was stuck on this story in the not-so-distant past and I think I might go somewhere with it in the near future. This morning I was pondering the timing of it all. Mary and Martha send word to Jesus that Lazarus is not doing so hot. Now, we know that previously Mary was at the feet of Jesus (the story introduces her this way), so we have an idea that maybe M&M aren't requesting that Jesus come sit shiva with them like good friends do. It wasn't a "get in your final goodbye" or "I need you here with me in this hard time" request. I don't think so. I think it was a "please, please Jesus come and save him or he's going to die." I'm going on a hunch that Mary and Martha were 2 ladies that "got it" that Jesus was the Messiah and did have the power to restore Lazarus back to health, so they asked him to do it.
Jesus hears the message and waits for 2 days before deciding to go back to Judea. On the third day (*ahem, note timing), he says, "welp, there's 12 hours of good travel time. Let's go."
There's a brief sidebar conversation by the disciples, and if left to their devices they never would've went to Judea at all- but that's a later conversation.
So they get to Bethany and they find that Lazarus is dead. Not just a "ooohhh, you just missed him." He's 4 days dead. In nowadays time, the funeral is over (in Jewish time, they've still got 3 days left).
So let's add this up... 4 days dead. Day 4 was the "12 hours of daylight" travel time. Day 2 and 3 was when Jesus was apparently sitting around and proving a point. Day 1- well, that's when Jesus got the message. And if you account for the 12 hours for the messenger to get to wherever Jesus was (which is a bit of a mystery at this point), we find that by the time Jesus learns of Lazarus' sickness, he was actually already dead.
So, this is my question to you: Why did Mary and Martha wait until Lazzie was on his deathbed before they called in Jesus? Why not when he was coughing and sputtering? Why is it that at the first sign of needing Jesus we think that we "shouldn't bother him" but when it gets to life and death all of a sudden we're sending urgent messages and yelling at him when he shows up 4 days too late?
I'm not putting the blame on M&M for Lazarus' death- Jesus said outright that it would be an occasion for all to believe. But I think we can look at M&M's actions and learn a little something about ourselves. But what kind of faith-test do we put ourselves, and Jesus, in when we wait until the moment of desperation to seek after Him? Why do we only want him at the very end, when it really, really counts?
Now, I know there's a place for desperation- I've been to that point when you need to realize that there's no other rock to which you can cling. But I wonder how the story would be different if Mary and Martha had asked Jesus to stop by a few weeks earlier because Lazzie had a hacking cough he just couldn't lick. Mary and Martha wouldn't have been frustrated with Jesus showing up a bit late. He would've had perfect timing, then.
But then again, there would be no miracle- a "turnaround sign for many of the Jews" (11:45).
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