this makes me sad

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Posted: Feb 14, 2008

source: the findlay courier.

it's not as easy as it sounds

so for this year's lenten season i did some evaluating of what needed improvement in my life. since time seems to be of the essence for me, i decided to do something that would help me be wise with the hours i've been given- i'm tired of saying "i didn't have time." it's typically not true, i just didn't make time (*with the exception of stuff that needs to be done during regular business hours, like calling hospitals and insurance companies. i literally did not have time to call them).
so, i thought to myself, "what takes up time that really isn't productive or recreative?" that's how i came up with facebook as my lenten sacrifice. it eats up time but really does nothing for me.
i can't believe how hard it's actually been! a few people have written on my wall or sent me messages- i hate that i can't get to it. but even more, i come home at the end of the the day and i want to see what everyone else has done, said or posted. what's going on in so-and-so's life? who is xyz dating? oh, STATUS change????
it's emotional pornography. i'm escaping my world and my bad day for the hopes that life is better inside the Book. i watch as others' lives unfold right before me so that i don't have to deal with what's happening in my life- or, at least, i use it to make myself feel better, saying, "at least i don't ________."
i'd have to say, lent is making me not only face the time i have with questions of "how can i use it now that i have it?" but as well, "well, michele, who are you? what do you feel?"
lent is so good, in a just-ran-a-really-hard-run-but-it-kinda-hurts kind of way.

who touched me?

the woman has been sick for years, she thinks, "just touch his robe, then i can be healed". Jesus is among lots and lots of people and he knows when she touches him.
this is not just a story of how jesus is very sensitive. actually, i think it's more about the woman. Jesus says, "your faith has healed you."
here's what i think. i think jesus knows the difference between touch. he knows the difference between someone getting close to him because they recognize that he has the power to change their life, and someone who's getting close to him to watch the show. he can tell when someone touches him as if their life depends upon it. it's not an accidental bump or stepping oh his sandal because you're walking too close.
to use an rti phrase, jesus knows when you're "reaching out" and making the effort instead of haphazardly bumping into him.
"ask seek knock".
"reach out to me and you will find healing because of your faith."

i love good friends

i love when you have friends that just know that when you say "can we talk" that really means "i need to talk to you right now, i really don't want to cry all by myself and i need to feel validated please please please pay attention to me."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me, "it's not the feelings that you have that are wrong- it's what you do with those feelings."
i love that i have a friend that can tell me that i don't have to try. and she really means it.
for the record, i also love friends that will come to book club when it's evident that no one read the book and the ones who did (partially) will testify that it's really not that good, but they make the trip anyway because it's a good time and you made a lot of food.
i love friends that will give me her clothes to wear for an entire weekend because my husband forgot to bring the bags i packed.
i love good friends. i need good friends. not just because it makes life better, but i really think i'd go crazy without them. and because i'd have to go to a redwings game without any pants.

the key to a good movie

i went this evening to watch 27 dresses as a compensation of sorts for sitting through the superbowl. for a quick review, the movie is 200% stereotypical chick flick (can you say how to loose a guy in 10 days?), but i enjoyed.
donald miller gave a sermon at mars hill once on the use of story. listen to it. then you'll know that i'm going to steal some of his concepts and make them my own.
the key to a good story is that you identify with the character. thus, the correlation to me not really connecting to Rocky. but romantic comedies, though completely fake (if you notice they never have a boring day at work and always have time for elaborate breakfasts and late night "drinks" with friends), still have their charm in that they take a small spark of something you feel on the inside and they "fan the flame" if you will.
which, for a movie about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" is very interesting to me. 3 of the 4 gals i was sitting with were married. yet we were all somehow emotionally tied to this movie. which goes to show, in Rob Bell's words, "this is always about that." (read SexGod for more).
so, back to characters and movies. i have this crazy feeling that every girl in the theater was envisioning themselves as the main character, Jane. no one in there really saw Tess, the beautiful, spoiled little sister who took the guy from Jane without knowing it, and thought "hey, that is so me!"
it's amazing the emotion a chick flick can evoke. it's like the movie takes that which you feel deepest (be it loneliness, anger, feeling overlooked and under appreciated... just to name a few that this particular movie centered in on), and highlights it. the movie takes it and becomes your voice because everyone in the theater knows that it's not right.
the problem is, as much as i felt jane's pain, as much as we all feel like her, we're not her. there are pieces of us that ring true, and that's why we feel that way. but there are pieces of each of the characters that are alive in us. i am also the loud-mouthed bff who says things she shouldn't. and i'm the demanding sister who doesn't think about other people's feelings before she rips up an heirloom wedding dress.
i love movies because i can identify with the hero. i hate movies because i see the vileness of the villan in me. i love movies because when the heroine's wrongs are righted, i feel justice. i hate movies because i must come to grips with the fact that i'm part of the problem in someone else's wrongs.