Thursday, February 14, 2008

it's not as easy as it sounds

so for this year's lenten season i did some evaluating of what needed improvement in my life. since time seems to be of the essence for me, i decided to do something that would help me be wise with the hours i've been given- i'm tired of saying "i didn't have time." it's typically not true, i just didn't make time (*with the exception of stuff that needs to be done during regular business hours, like calling hospitals and insurance companies. i literally did not have time to call them).
so, i thought to myself, "what takes up time that really isn't productive or recreative?" that's how i came up with facebook as my lenten sacrifice. it eats up time but really does nothing for me.
i can't believe how hard it's actually been! a few people have written on my wall or sent me messages- i hate that i can't get to it. but even more, i come home at the end of the the day and i want to see what everyone else has done, said or posted. what's going on in so-and-so's life? who is xyz dating? oh, STATUS change????
it's emotional pornography. i'm escaping my world and my bad day for the hopes that life is better inside the Book. i watch as others' lives unfold right before me so that i don't have to deal with what's happening in my life- or, at least, i use it to make myself feel better, saying, "at least i don't ________."
i'd have to say, lent is making me not only face the time i have with questions of "how can i use it now that i have it?" but as well, "well, michele, who are you? what do you feel?"
lent is so good, in a just-ran-a-really-hard-run-but-it-kinda-hurts kind of way.

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